How often does it happen to us that we only think afterwards what we actually wanted to say? Come out of your shell with these 10 tips and say what’s on your mind.
Trust in yourself
Who knows better what is good for you than you? The feeling is like a compass that gives you direction. Heed this, how good does it not feel when you follow your heart? Get out of your head and don’t think too much, but do. When someone crosses your line, feel the power within yourself. Believe in yourself and dare to express this. Face it, only then can you get over it.
You have the right of being
Everyone in the world has a piece of space from his or her birthright, which we have to accept from each other. The other has this space, but you too. Take this space and make it your own. Dare to be and take up space. If you take up space within, you radiate it and others make space for you more quickly.
No one is better or worse
We often tend to put others on a pedestal because they have qualities that we ourselves lack. Remember that every person, including you, has unique qualities that you have to give to the world and the people around you that make you valuable too.
Stand in your strength
Often we only have an eye for what we are not good at. If you pay attention to that, it seems to be increasing. Fortunately, it also works the other way around: ask yourself what you are good at, what you have to give and think about this daily. You will amaze yourself if you look closely.
Use clear language
‘May I disturb you for a moment? Perhaps you know what time it is? ‘ If you look closely at these sentences you will see that a diminutive word has been used for “just a moment” and that the word “maybe” shows that you are unsure of your case. Just dare to ask, “May I disturb you, do you know what time it is?”
Using debilitating language, whether against yourself or in a social setting, makes you falter. Words have power, practice using it. Keep calm and show that you are balanced.
Draw your line
Make sure you know what you want and what you don’t want. This way you can immediately address someone when they cross your border. If you don’t know where your limit is, it is also difficult to intervene and it is usually already too late. Knowing where your limits are is the first step to a more assertive life.
See yourself as a worthy human being who has rights. If you respect yourself, others will follow naturally. Live from yourself, there will always be others who don’t like what you do. So what? You are the most important person in your life, right?
Speak from yourself
When someone crosses your boundaries, it can be tempting to attack the other person, if you have gathered all the courage, for what this person is doing wrong. This only leads to more strife. So speak from yourself: “I am bothered by the loud noise.”
Look at assertive people.
What you associate with is what infects you. Each person has received a good dose of mirror brain cells from the creator, so that you automatically adopt the habits of others. Therefore surround yourself with people from whom you can learn something, you subconsciously take over the behavior. Practice every day and take baby steps, because becoming more assertive is a process.
Take a course
You are not alone. Many people would like to express themselves more strongly, but are inhibited by something. There are numerous workshops and courses where you can learn to become more verbally resilient. Often you can also meet people here and learn from each other. A handy saving tip is to have the course reimbursed by your boss: after all, he will soon benefit enormously from your increased assertiveness!
Good luck and keep practicing, practicing and practicing!